i moved. and the cable company is booked out four weeks in advance... who knew?! cable is so in right now. and that's why i have not blogged.
my couch is so in right now... in my apartment. i ordered the most precious couch i'd ever laid eyes on and after a couple attempts to deliver it without me being there, they finally carried it up two flights of stairs to my cozy apartment annnnd (drumroll) it wouldn't fit through the door.
i have been praying a lot lately. i love praying, i always have. but i have been praying alot alot (maybe even triple alot) lately and when i came home and the couch was sitting outside my door i walked right past it and kneeled on my floor and gave quite possibly the silliest prayer of my life:
"dear God, please make this couch fit. i know that this is silly. i know that this does not matter and that i can find a new couch, but it has been a crummy week and i really just want a place to sit. a cute place to sit. when things got crummy for Job he still had faith. i would still have faith. i promise. and i still would really love for a miracle to happen. i would really like for this couch to fit through my front door. and God, i love you. and i know that i am blessed and even though it has been a crummy week, it's still not as crummy as Job's- it just feels like it. thank you, Aubrey"
then my friend came over and he unscrewed that door and we twisted the couch and, it fit. and i closed my eyes and said "thank you."
i have so many things to be thankful for. especially lately. it's funny, sometimes life gets so busy and crazy and it all kind of dumps on you and you think for a quick minute that life sucks. and then you cry some and pray some and you wake up the very next day and you realize how extremely blessed you are.
i realized today how much more this life is than the things i sometimes get caught up and lost in. we got a new bishopric and he bore his testimony. he won us over with his humor and humility as he told us his thoughts of accepting his call and then he mentioned his wife. he told us was not hard to spot if we wanted to find her, she was simply the most beautiful one in the whole room. and then he wiped tears from his eyes as he looked over at her. he adored her. he went on and bore a powerful testimony and then afterwards the stake president got up and made sure we knew the sacrifice this man was making by taking this calling. he works for a major bank and travels the world as a top executive in their company and has been busy with the rise and fall of the economy. he said the night our new bishop received his call he had just flown in from a long business trip in brazil and was tired. and then he told us that the only time through in the conversation they had that evening where the new bishop showed any sign of disappointment was when the stake president mentioned that he would not be releasing his wife as the stake relief society president of our manhattan stake. when he went on to tell us how this new bishop expressed his concern of missing his wife and being able to spend time with her, he made it known to us that this was a sacrifice, and i was grateful. and i knew life did not suck.
it doesn't and it never will. it's all in how you accept your trials, hopefully with grace. and i look forward to a life full of experiences and trials and opportunities. especially to sacrifice and with someone by my side that adores me. i love love.
i know that sometime i seem to be such a hater. but i am not. my parents divorce is yuck and sad and it's okay, i still know i can find a love that will last forever. and it will be the very sweetest thing too. (even better than a couch fitting through a small new york city apartment door.)
sometimes... life flips us upside down and shakes us a lot and really knocks you on the head so we will just pay attention! my goodness i thought to myself the other day, aubrey you can be so stubborn! i am grateful for the times when we lose things because when we find them again we really have such a greater appreciation for them.
i am always losing my keys! serioulsy, it's ridiculous. but once it happened at not such an opportune moment and a dear friend told me 'aubrey every time you leave the house just think to yourself, do i have my keys' and i laughed and thought 'oh if it were only that simple!' but- it is, and i haven't lost my keys in what i'd like to think, is a long time. every once in a while i need to be reminded to grab them on my way out, but when i rummage through my bag at the end of a long day at work, i am always so happy and relieved to stumble upon them!
and that's what i am learning. that sometimes losing things is a good thing. even if it's just a few seconds i spend worrying digging through my bag, i am always happy to find them there. and on the days i don't lose them, when they are just right there where i put them; i have learned to appreciate them on those days too. i lost my gold bracelet once. the one that is delicate and buckles in the center. it only took me losing it once for me to appreciate it every time i wanted to wear it.
i love my life and everything it brings me. i am grateful for trials, even though they are hard; they are good and if we allow them to, we can learn and they will make us stronger and help us to grow. that's all. quite wordy for such a simple statement but it's been a while. i turned twenty two a little bit ago and it was a really good one. i have a feeling this is going to be the best year yet...
(and i over punctuate. i know that too.)
